The Quest to be Normal

The word normal rolled off my tongue a lot last week. "I just want life to be normal." was my constant mantra. By that I meant I wanted my husband to have a "normal job", I wanted my kids to have "normal" health (which I actually think they do), I also wanted my husband to have "normal" health. I wanted my financial situation to be "normal". I wanted my friendships to be back to "normal" because when you move your friendships are not "normal" for awhile. Basically I wanted to have the "normal" suburban lifestyle. I have said this before in my life. I say things like this in the midst in discouragement. This morning the Lord dragged me out of bed at 5am and I could feel the Holy Spirit begging me to get back into the word of God. (Why is it when we face discouragement we tend to distance ourselves from the one thing that we need the most?) So I expressed my desire to be "normal" to the Lord. He brought me to Psalm 73 which was the Psalm I read the last time I was in the word--last week. It was in my small group study book on a lesson on Doubts. I can remember when I went through the lesson how, what I now recognize as pride, set in. I may get discouraged or frustrated, but I NEVER doubt the Lord, was my feeling at the time. I had a different attitude as I read through the Psalm again this morning. My feeling of wanting to be "normal" was just a reflection of my doubt and lack of trust in the Lord. My perception was that if I was "normal" life would be full of goodness, because, afterall, all those around me who seem to be experiencing the "normal" life have very minimal hardships. The wicked do seem to prosper and for whatever reason "...my feet came close to stumbling; my steps had almost slipped. For I was envious of the arrogant, as I saw the prosperity of the wicked. They are not in trouble as other men; nor are they plagued like mankind." (Psalm 73:2-3,5 (NAS)). This is just the beginning of the Psalm. The Psalmist continues to describe what he sees as the success of those who don't follow the Lord. Then comes the key to the Psalm "Until I am into the sanctuary of God; then I perceived their end." (Psalm 73:17). I had become "senseless and ignorant" (vs 22). I am so thankful that I serve a God who loves me and forgives me and stays with me regardless of my stupidity. And I praise Him that even when I feel that I am failing, He is still my strength. And so, thanks to Him, I can now praise Him that I am not normal and that He has chosen me to serve Him.

"My flesh and my heart may fail,
But God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever." (Psalm 73:26 emphasis mine)