Wednesday, July 13, 2011

So. Frustrated.

I was so. frustrated. this. morning. I had just sat down at our picnic table outside with my Bible (no coffee this morning...sigh) and journal. I love the summer when God and I can start out the day with the bird singing and the sounds of a small town waking up. Only this morning, as soon as I took my seat it began to sprinkle. In my moment of frustration, I looked to the sky and said, "Seriously, Lord? Really?". See, life just hasn't been going my way the last few weeks and this was just another reminder of that. And with our family, when life typically throws us curves, for some reason it involves hospitals and waiting rooms. This summer's curves have been no different. My dad had a heart attack a couple of week's ago. He's Fine! (thanks for asking), but that was a curve and a change to our summer schedule that was unexpected. Then while the kids and I went to visit my family and Joe's last week I develop some mysterious stomach issues. I went for a ct scan yesterday and a I go for an ultrasound today (which is why I'm without coffee this morning :( ). I am actually feeling a lot better than I was over the weekend, so it may just be one of those mysterious things that God uses to bring me back to the truth. The truth that He is in control and I am not. After my minor little fit this morning, the Holy Spirit reminded me...even over the rain "I AM" is the only one in control. As much as I may think that I've got my plans made and life planned, it is all theory. As James reminds us in James 4:15 "Instead you ought to say, "If the Lord wills, we will live and do this or that." (emphasis mine) Several years ago I would have grumbled (and did grumble) to God at that. Even in knowing that He was in control somehow I was convinced my way would have been better. But now, after many reminders, I say PRAISE GOD for that! Praise God that He numbers our days and we don't number our own. Praise God that He is in control over the rain and the sun. And Praise God for His grace and His gentle reminders that perfect peace is found in resting in His control.