Monday, May 7, 2012

Do I really trust with all my heart?

Life is a big struggle at times. And I think maybe the only thing more difficult than struggling myself is watching one of my kids struggle.  It has been that kind of a view from my kitchen lately as I hear one child in particular struggle with life.  I would fix it, but in this case, I can't.  It is just not possible for me to fix it.  And so we do what we do (even in the situations that I can fix it) when we struggle, we dig into the Word and we pray.  I felt so much comfort and warmth fill me yesterday as I saw the child with Bible in hand and heard the mumbling of scripture memory from the child's lips.  This wasn't an AWANA kind of scripture memory; this was "I am hurting and can only be comforted by God's presence" kind of scripture memory.  Then today decisions were made.  Decisions that I disagree with.  Decisions I would have made completely different.  (At least I think I would given the circumstances.)   And I found myself asking "Can I trust this child?  Should I step in more?  Should I 'command' more than 'advise'?"  Almost immediately I feel that still, small Voice in my soul.  And it said "The child is seeking me.  And even if the child wasn't, isn't the question 'Can you trust me?'"  Ouch, so true.  I honestly cannot fix this.   Do I trust the Lord with my child?  And I was once again brought back to the verse I have been meditating on this year:

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding."  Proverbs 3:5

Such simple truth and one that is so very applicable to my life as a mom.

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